


The Time We Have Left

by thearchangelofloki



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: FT Angst Week, I am, M/M, SO SORRY, i took my angst out on my child??? why did i do this????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:06:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6773971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thearchangelofloki/pseuds/thearchangelofloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...AKA Five times Laxus didn't say the 'L' word, and the one time he did.</p>
<p>For Bonus Day 2 of FTAngstWeek, where the prompt was 'Dearly Departed'</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time We Have Left

**_1._ **

 

They were little more than teenagers when they first meet, Freed having just turned 12, showing up and joining the guild just shy of Laxus’ 15th birthday. He didn’t really know _what_ it was about the younger boy that held Laxus’ attention – although they were plenty of things about him that were strange: his hair, his accent, his clothes, the dagger resting by his side, the way he held himself like part of him wanted to stand tall and proud, while the other half wanted to disappear – he only knew that he couldn’t look away.

He could hear his father growl out a warning as he hopped off his seat and started to make his way towards the newcomer, but he ignored him. There was something in the back of his mind, something telling him that he should try and talk to the green haired boy, even as said boy flinched as Laxus came to stand beside him, something that he couldn’t quite ignore.

There were a million questions running through his mind, a million things he wanted to know about the smaller wizard, like why did he need a dagger? Why, even after he’d gotten the guild mark put on him was he so nervous? Why even come to Fairy Tail in the first place? Thousands of things he could have asked, could have said to introduce him, but instead of anything meaningful, the thing that came out of his mouth instead was something that even shocked him a little.

“Your hair kinda makes you look like a girl, ya know?”

The smaller wizard blinked, then narrowed his eyes at Laxus accusingly, looking him up and down briefly before meeting Laxus’ eyes.

“Well, _your_ hair almost makes you look like decent wizard. Too bad that’s all it does for you.”

Laxus let out a surprised chuckle then. He couldn’t even remember the last time that someone had traded insults with him instead of just insulting him outright, most people would barely go near him because of his father was and Laxus’ own strength. Not that this new kid’s insult was particularly hurtful, but it felt…nice to be able to talk to someone, to laugh for the first time in what seemed like forever. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like, to interact with people and for it to not meant to be harsh or scathing. It was a change of pace, one that Laxus didn’t realise he craved until it was happening.

So when the younger wizard smiled and put out his hand for Laxus to shake, he couldn’t really help doing the same, meeting the other wizard’s hand with his own, shaking it firmly.

“Freed.”

“Laxus. Nice to meet ya kid.”

As he sat down next to the new kid – _Freed_ – and they started talking – and somehow he knew that they’d be spending a lot of time together in the future, call it a gut instinct – he could almost feel himself slip and say ‘ _Ya know kid, I love people like you.’_

But he didn’t. They’d only just met after all, and what kind of person says that to a stranger?

 

**_2._ **

 

Laxus didn’t know what to do when his father was exiled from the guild. He wanted to scream. Shout. Yell at anyone who would listen that _this wasn’t fair_. Ivan was his father! Makarov’s own son! So how could he as the guild master _make him leave_? The thoughts made him angry, made him feel like he should be doing something, should be at the guild hall, demanding that Makarov let Ivan back in the guild.

But he wasn’t.

Instead, he was sat at his window, looking out at the street below. He thought that rain pelting down against his window would have been appropriate for his mood, but the skies mocked him with a cloudless day. Laxus snorted, looking away, letting his head come to rest on top of knees, knees that despite the warm day, were hugged close to his chest.

He thought he should have been angry. Enraged. Spiteful. He should have been seeing red at the thought that his own flesh and blood was kicked out by someone who claimed to care about him. And he was angry, in a way, but not at what he felt he should have been angry at.

Because when he thought about it, he felt relieved that Ivan was gone, maybe even a little glad for reasons he didn’t quite understand _and it pissed him off_.

How could he be okay with his father being taken away from him?

Laxus could feel the tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, and he desperately bit back a sob as he tried to wipe them away with the back of his hand. He didn’t want to cry, besides, who would be there to pick up the pieces? He was _alone_ because Ivan had _left_ and as much as he wanted to he couldn’t stop another sob from rising in his throat and damnit he was going to have to _move_ because people couldn’t see that he was crying and –

_Knock knock knock._

Someone was at the door.

The thought was enough to shake him from his crying, and for a small, fleeting moment he thought it might have been his father, come to take him to the guild that he was building but that thought was soon crushed. He lifted his head from his knees, slowly detangled his limbs from one another and he hopped off the window seat and made his way over to whoever was at the door, he wondered who it could be. It wasn’t until he opened the door and he was quickly engulfed in a pair of arms that wrapped themselves around him that he realised.

Freed.

Who else could it have been?

The rest of the guild could hate him and say terrible things about him when they thought he was out of earshot, and all the people he thought of as family could leave him without so much as a word, but as long as he had Freed standing by his side, he knew he’d be fine.

He found himself hugging back, the tears from earlier threatening to make a reappearance.

“Laxus, I…I’m sorry. I know how much your father meant to you and…and I want you to know that know that no matter what happens, or what you do, no matter what path your life takes you down, I’m going to stay by your side. I’m never going to let you be alone so long as I live, okay?”

He couldn’t help it, not really, that he held onto Freed a little bit tighter in a way that he knew Freed would understand as gratitude. He wanted to talk then, wanted to tell him _‘You’re my best friend, I love you, please don’t leave me too.’_

But he didn’t. Too soon he was breaking down as Freed hugged him tighter and rubbed comforting circles on his back. As far as he was concerned, the moment was lost.

 

_**3.** _

 

Laxus didn’t know where Freed was, and it appeared he wasn’t the only one. Neither Evergreen nor Bickslow knew where he was either, and while it might have been normal for Laxus to not know where his friend was, it was certainly strange for the other two to have no clue about the whereabouts of their newly appointed captain.

Ever since the formation of their little rag tag team a few weeks ago, and _especially_ since the other two had declared the rune mage captain of said team, Freed had constantly been around the other two, and now he wasn’t even in the guild hall. Laxus wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he was more than a little worried about the younger wizard. He knew that sometimes Freed needed space, that being around people for so long exhausted him, but normally he gave some type of indication, some type of sign. He’d left without a trace this time, and that put Laxus on edge.

The three of them had split up to search for their green haired mage in the early hours of the morning, and soon enough Laxus found that the midday sun was beaming down on him as his search brought him to the river banks that began to lead back into the town. If he was worried before, then he was close to panicking now. He began to think that something had happened to the younger wizard. Was he hurt? Was he lying in a ditch somewhere, struggling to breathe? The thoughts were invading his mind, causing panic to rise in his veins. He was about to turn around, head back the way he came because the other two were searching the town, go back other where he’d looked in case he’d missed something, when a familiar red coat the corner of his eye.

Laxus left out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He made his way down the riverbank, making sure he made noise as he went down to make sure that Freed knew he was there, not that Freed seemed to realise it though. As he got closer, Laxus could see the way Freed’s knees were drawn close to his chest, the way his head was resting on top of them, and he couldn’t help but wonder if that was how he looked all those months ago when his father had been exiled. Did he look just as sad then, too? Just as lost?

He made his way down to the bank itself where Freed was, managed to sit down beside him before the younger wizard even so much as raised his head to acknowledge Laxus, and while Freed’s disappearance was worrying, the way his eyes were red, rimmed with the suggestion of tears was so much worse.

Laxus swallowed, he wasn’t…the best with words. He didn’t know what to say when people were upset, never knew how to act when someone needed comfort but…this was Freed. For Freed, he would try.

“Wanna talk about it?”

It took a few seconds for the younger wizard to respond, and for a moment Laxus worried that he wouldn’t, but when Freed turned to look at him, Laxus knew that his worries were unfounded.

“I’m scared, Laxus.” The words were said so softly that Laxus almost thought he was imagining them at first, but when he looked at Freed’s face he knew he hadn’t. He could feel his eyebrows furrow as he processed the words.

“Of what?” Laxus was confused. What could Freed _possibly_ be scared of? He was one of the strongest wizards that Laxus knew! Maybe not as strong as Laxus himself, but he had no doubt that Freed could easily take on any wizard that wasn’t S-class and win without breaking a sweat. So why was he scared?

“I don’t want to let them down. I…I don’t want to fail them, or lead them in a way that’s going to get them hurt. I just…” Freed looked away for the briefest of moments, and Laxus almost wanted to wipe away the tears he could see forming at the corner of his companion’s eyes. “I just don’t feel worthy enough to lead them.”

Ah. So that’s what this was about. Freed had seemed fine when the other two declared that their entourage had needed a captain in order to protect Laxus, but it appeared that he was just putting on a front. Laxus felt his eyebrows furrow

“I wouldn’t worry. You’re one of the strongest wizards I know, but the other two ain’t weak. They’ll be fine. ‘sides, you’re smart. I don’t think you could lead them into trouble if you tried.”

Freed gave a small smile at that, along with a quiet ‘thanks’, and Laxus could feel his heart skip a beat at the genuine relieved and thankful emotion on Freed’s face. Laxus could feel his face relax, his mouth form into the hint of a smile as he looked out into the river in front of them.

There was a moment of silence before Laxus spoke again.

“D’you wanna head back in?”

 Freed seemed to consider this for a moment before turning to Laxus. “Can we just…sit here for a minute?”

Laxus was still, made no move to get up, and he knew Freed would take it as an answer.

There was another moment of silence between the two of them, only the sounds of the running water from the river filling the space, and Laxus felt like he should say something, some sort of reassurance, something like _‘You’re almost like a brother to me, I love you, I’ll always stay by your side, no matter what.’_

But he didn’t. The words felt slightly wrong on his lips, and he felt it better to let the moment pass, instead choosing to put a comforting arm around Freed’s shoulders, Freed leaning in to rest his head on Laxus’ own shoulder, as they sat in silence, waiting until the younger wizard was ready to go back.

****

**_4._ **

 

Fairy Law didn’t work. The spell had failed him. Why? Was he not strong enough? Was all the pain and torture that his father put him through for nothing? Laxus could feel the anger rising up in him again. This spell…it should have changed things!  Should have made people stop seeing him as Makarov’s grandson, as the _exiled_ one’s son, it should have made people see him as his own person! So why…Why did it fail him?

“The other wizards and the people of Magnolia are safe from harm.”

“ _Freed_.” He wasn’t sure why he was so angry at Freed. Freed, who had stayed by his side when he thought there was no one there for him. Freed, who had gone along with Laxus’ plan, despite his own beliefs and reservations. Freed, who Laxus had almost hurt, who Laxus had forced him to relive Freed’s own worst and darkest memories. Freed, who had done it, simply because Laxus asked.

“It seems you’ve inherited more than just your grandfather’s strength; you’ve inherited his heart as well. You can lie to yourself and you can lie to me all you want Laxus, but you can’t lie to your magic. You can’t lie to your heart.”

No. No that wasn’t…It _couldn’t_ be true. How could he care about the people who had only ever betrayed his trust, left his side? He didn’t care what happened to his grandfather or the guild, he’d exiled his father, said ‘good riddance’ as he walked out the doors. But they’d also make sure he was okay in the following weeks, his grandfather had hugged him as he’d cried. The guild had come together, had been there for him, and he remembered feeling so warm and loved and _happy_ as they’d said ‘it’s going to be okay, we’re here for you’…

…Oh.

It seemed he did care.

When did his world get so dark and twisted? When did he allow his anger and hatred to morph itself into something so ugly? And why, after everything that he had undoubtedly put them through, were his self-proclaimed bodyguards still by his side?

A quick glance at Freed told him all he needed to know. Freed had known. That he’d stayed by Laxus’ side through this whole mess, because he knew that this wasn’t truly Laxus. But it didn’t matter, Freed’s earlier words echoed in his head.

‘ _After the path we’ve chosen, I fear there’s no turning back._ ’

Freed was right when he’d said that. They’d come this far; he’d put them all on this path that could only lead to their defeat. He’d made their beds, now he’d have to lie in them too.

If he didn’t fight Natsu at full strength, it was only him who’d have to know.

As he lay on the ground, defeated, barely holding onto to consciousness as people surrounded him, trying to make sure he was okay even after all he’d done to them, he looked to Freed. The younger wizard looked exhausted, arm slowly dripping red and purple beginning to appear on what was visible of his skin. When Laxus met his eyes, he expected emptiness, betrayal, maybe even hatred.

What he wasn’t expecting was the warmth, nor the small smile on Freed’s face as he gave Laxus’ arm a reassuring squeeze. He could feel himself smile back, and as Freed’s face steadily got blurrier as he lost his fight with consciousness, he almost wanted to let himself say _‘I could fall in love with someone like you.’_

But he didn’t. The timing was wrong. There were too many people around to hear the words only meant to be heard by one. Besides, soon enough he was leaving the guild, walking away from the only people he cared about out of choice. He didn’t think that was what Freed needed or wanted to hear as he was leaving.

****

**_5._ **

 

Seven years was a long time to miss, Laxus was discovering. Seven years in which the world had thought they were all dead, seven years for the world to move on. So much had changed, the guild hall was no longer one he recognised, the people had not only grown older, but grown wearier, Fairy Tail itself had gone from being one of the best guilds in all of Fiore, to being the laughing stock.

Laxus called over the new barmaid to get another drink. What did Bickslow say her name was? Kinana? He didn’t suppose it really mattered, she was just another example of how much the guild had changed.

So _damn much_ had changed, there was almost nothing here that Laxus could remember from his time before his expulsion from the guild, not even the night long drinking session that was currently happening around him had the same rowdiness to it and yet…

Laxus couldn’t stop smiling.

Because even though so much had changed, the people that meant so much to him had stayed constant, had stayed the same.

He was glad that despite everything those three had remained constant, even if part of that was due to the fact that they all lost seven years of their lives as well. If it was upsetting them, they certainly weren’t showing it. The three of them were sat round a table – well, the three of them and Elfman, who appeared to be not-so-subtly holding Evergreen’s hand under the table. Seriously, when did that happen? – each with a drink in their hand, laughing at something that Bickslow had said. They’d asked him to join them, because _of course_ they had, and before he wouldn’t have even hesitated before grabbing his tankard and taking a seat, but now things were different.

Besides, he was content where he was, content to watch over those he cared about so much, happy to see them smile and reunite with those that hadn’t seen them for so long.

He was glad he hadn’t forced them to sever their ties with their fellow guild mates.

After a while, and after his second drink, he found his eyes being drawn to Freed. This in itself wasn’t an unusual occurrence, to Laxus there had always been something about the younger wizard that had always drawn his eye to him. What was unusual though, was what he wanted to do.

Maybe it was the alcohol in his system, or maybe it was the way Freed was laughing, but part of Laxus, a large part, wanted to get up from his place at the bar, drag Freed outside and tell him _‘I’m falling in love with you.’_

But he didn’t. Even though they were back, Laxus still technically wasn’t in the guild, and he knew that saying it while it remained so wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Besides, he didn’t think it was the best thing to say when Freed was smiling like he was, eyes lighting up his entire face with a bright brilliance that had Laxus’ heart skipping a beat.

 

**_+1_ **

 

The mission they were on was a disaster. It had been an S-class request, but with two S-class wizards on their team, taking S-class requests from the board was no longer an issue for them.

They were set up.

The job they had taken was a fake, put up by a man who hated wizards for their slights against him, who wanted to ensnare a few in his grasp to make them suffer, and they were the unlucky ones who had fallen for his trap.

The four of them had spent the better part of the last week trying to escape this mad man, trying to get away long enough to catch their breath, to let their fellow guild mates know where they were, to send for help. The stops they had managed to get were few and far between, and each one left them a little more exhausted than the last one.

They had been lucky, they’d managed to catch a breather while in a forest, no signs of civilization around them for miles. They’d hoped that they’d managed to lose him in all the vegetation, and when nothing seemed to move, when there was no sound outside of their heavy breathing, they thought they had.

Until Laxus moved to walk away, to look for anything that could help them, and the ground underneath his foot seemed to move slightly.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. There was a click somewhere deep in the forest, then seemingly out of nowhere there was a metal spear, headed right towards him. He could hear the others yelling, telling him to move, to hit it with his magic, to duck, but it was as if their were words muffled and unclear. His feet felt heavy, and his hands were frozen by his side. He couldn’t…he couldn’t _move_. It wasn’t as if he didn’t want to, his mind was screaming at his body to move, to get out of the way, but it wouldn’t.

Maybe this was fate.

 Maybe… this was how it was meant to end for him. After all the hurt he’d caused in his youth, maybe it was only fair for him to repay somehow. If the world wanted his death, then as much as he wished it wasn’t so, he would close his eyes, and wait for the pain to come.

Only it never did.

Instead, when he opened his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of a giant metal spear sticking out of Freed’s back, the one pure red coat quickly being stained dark. It was as if Laxus was in a bubble underwater, he could see the image in front of him with crystal clarity, but it wasn’t registering in his mind that it was real. He could hear the other two screaming, could see them running towards their captain, but it all seemed so distant. The sound of their voices were muffled, and for a long moment Laxus could do nothing but stand completely still and watch the scene play out in front of him.

Then Freed collapsed, and the bubble burst.

“ _Freed._ ”

Laxus moved, hurrying to his captain, kneeling down and carefully rolling him on his side, silently apologising as Freed groaned.

He could feel the bile rise in the back of his throat as he saw the damage.

The spear had buried itself in Freed’s chest, re-emerging out of his back, a blossoming red flower quickly blooming around either side.

Laxus bunched up his jacket, pressing it around the entry wound on Freed’s front, motioning for Bickslow to do the same on his back. He was very keenly ignoring the rational part of his brain that was telling him there was no point, that there wasn’t a healer anywhere close to them, that Freed had already lost too much blood.

That there was nothing Laxus could do.

He shook his head, ridding himself of the thought. Laxus looked back at Freed’s face, and although he looked pale and clammy, he also looked serene, calm in a way that Laxus had never seen before.

“Why? Why did you do that?”

Freed smiled, but the smile quickly turned into a grimace as coughs began erupting from his weakened frame, blood spat from his mouth, trickling down the side of his face. Laxus frowned, wiping it away with his thumb.

“You know…why.”

Laxus shook his head, and he could feel the tears start to form in his eyes. Freed couldn’t have-no. _No_. He refused to believe it. Something that was meant to be beautiful and pure and full of _life_ could not be the reason that Freed was like he was now.

“Please, no. You didn’t-”

“ _Laxus_.”

He stopped, looked into Freed’s eyes. He could see the tears in his eyes that mirrored Laxus’ own, could see the emotions swirling inside of them. Pain. Sorrow. Acceptance…

He felt a cool touch on his cheek, and it took him a moment to realise that it was Freed’s hand. He gripped it with his own, holding it in place as Freed smiled. Laxus could see the struggle that he was going though, could see him fighting for breath, and despite himself he held on tighter to the cool hand even as Freed’s grip loosened.

“Laxus…I lo…”

The hand went slack.

_This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t h a p p e n i n g._

“Freed. Freed!”

He tapped the side of Freed’s face, trying to rouse him, trying to get him to wake up, to respond, to do something, _anything_ , to let Laxus know he was still here.

Laxus looked over to Bickslow, then to Evergreen who was holding Freed’s over hand, and with a shaky breath, placed his fingers at Freed’s neck.

There was no beat beneath his fingertips.

He looked at the other two again and shook his head.

They both looked devastated, and Laxus really couldn’t blame them, but he didn’t think he’d ever felt so numb in his life. While they held onto each other for comfort, Laxus couldn’t stop staring into Freed’s now lifeless eyes. He knew what he’d been trying to say, how could he not? They’d been dancing around those words for so long it almost felt natural.

It wasn’t meant to be like this.

He could feel the tears running down his face but made no attempt to wipe them away, instead lowering himself so he could place a gentle kiss on Freed’s forehead, whispering the words he’d missed his chance to say.

_“I love you too.”_

**Author's Note:**

> whY DID I DO THIS TO MY BOYS
> 
> I may also get around to writing for the other prompts??? Who knows. Not me.


End file.
